The colloquy of Jose Jones

Someone forwarded a spammer's email to Spamnesty, which replied to the email, pretending to be a person called Jose Jones and starting a conversation.

This is that conversation.


Spammer

  • Subject: X-RATED CONTENT: S?bastien Neufcourt, these cuties are up to play
  • On: Nov. 28, 2016, 5:52 p.m.

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Spamnesty

  • Subject: Re: X-RATED CONTENT: S?bastien Neufcourt, these cuties are up to play
  • On: Nov. 28, 2016, 5:52 p.m.

Hello,
I am a bit busy now, but I am definitely interested. When can we talk?

Jose Jones
CEO, MNesty, LLC

Spammer

  • Subject: Re: Re: "1heart" Please..
  • On: Dec. 2, 2016, 9:51 p.m.

Hello John,

Thank you for responding to my email, for many of us, the times we are experiencing are unlike anything we have experienced before. Each week I learn of someone else whose economic security blanket has been pulled from beneath them. Individuals who have worked for the same company for 15-20 years are being asked to leave. People who thought there was no doubt that they would be retiring from this same company have been given pink slips. Women and men with master’s degrees and extensive experience in a myriad of fields are working for minimum wage. Countless others are pounding the pavement, resumes in hand, eager to see what door might open.

And while all of this is happening, those who have retired are wondering if their hard-earned investments will ever rise to the level where they were before the economy started to weaken. The World’s economy that once seemed to strong – so indestructible – has been spun around with us all holding on tight, praying that we have seen the worst of it and that recovery is on the way. It does not take much for the world to be changed.

One senseless death. One lost job. One parent leaving. One diagnosis at the doctor’s office. One closed company. One plane hitting a tower.

One broken heart. One accident. One greedy executive director.

My own world changed after one diagnosis at the doctor’s office. I do not wish to have my burden on you and you are free to tell me no because it was a word I was used to at a point in my life; only I was the one saying the no when pleas of assistance came knocking on my door and at this stage in my life and situation I feel the best I can do to give myself peace is to take the action to which I am seeking your help.

Here is my proposal. If you are given an opportunity to disburse some funds to the needy would you? If your answer is yes, if you think the world needs a little love, the type that wants nothing in return, only asking that you show that same measure of love to another, if you are tired of fights & arguments, disagreements and wars, then we are on the same page.

I have some funds in 2 safe deposit boxes, I have left this funds in my days leaving as a miser and hoping I could stack up as much financial worth as I can, hiding many away from the prying eyes of friends who ought to be my old succor in life. I am presently undergoing treatment at a clinical/research institute due to a life threatening case of laryngeal cancer. This is the major reason I cannot disburse the funds myself. The money I am giving to you is the last earthly possession I own. No one knows its cash I have in the 2 boxes.

I want to give to the needy, the widows, orphans and victims of disasters. Are you willing to receive the boxes if given the opportunity? The disbursement of this fund would be entirely in your hands. (I want at least 80% given to charity) The reference I gave you, I got it from the phrase save a soul, and I wished I had set up a foundation called Helping Hand. Let me know if you are capable and willing to do this for me. I will wait to hear from you to enable us proceed

Abdia,

Spamnesty

  • Subject: Re: Re: "1heart" Please..
  • On: Dec. 3, 2016, 7:17 a.m.

Hello,
Thank you for your email! However, I don't know if this will fit in our budget. Is there anything better you could do?

Jose Jones
CEO, MNesty, LLC

Spammer

  • Subject: Re: Re: Re: "1heart" Please..
  • On: Dec. 3, 2016, 11:26 a.m.

Hello Jones,

I am so happy you share the same passion as I do and I’m confident you will do right by man and God. I don't care much for big charities, when you look at their financial statements and see what they pay the CEO's and Presidents it turns your stomach. So please start with the small ones. About 4 years ago, i began having symptoms which would point towards me having cancer of the throat, but due to negligence on my side, I didn't go for proper blood work I only took medication for cough and had prednisone for my breathing as it sounded quite abnormal at the time. When I started coughing up blood and loosing weight, i knew I had to see a specialist, but it was already too late as it had began to spread. I have fought a tough and painful battle which i cannot conquer, but for everything, there is a good reason. I hope my sacrifice does not go in vain.

I have donated my body to scientific research on cancer, and as such, had to sign a confidentiality agreement with the research institute which does not allow me answer your question in detail, I made a substantial donation to get into the program with the hopes it works. Their procedures and approach to battling cancer are clinical trials based on early stage research work which are yet to be clinically confirmed as concrete. This and more are reasons why a confidentiality agreement had to be signed by myself
the patient, stating my approval to be subjected to these trials. Unfortunately, my case has gone critical mostly due to neglect on my part in taking the right steps earlier on. This is a team of talented young doctors and researchers committed to finding ground breaking ways consistent for the treatment of cancer.

As much as I know I owe you a great deal of explanation, I cannot go into much more detail about the program than what I already told you; I hope you will understand - it is for the best, and I ask that you in turn treat our communication and information exchanged with equal confidentiality especially regarding my estate, at least until you must have secured the funds which I am leaving in your care. I do not want anything or anyone jeopardize the success of this project. It would be my warmest heart desire to know everything I wished for has been done or started before my passing.

I will require you to get in touch with the security company and request that the fund be released to you. It will be required of me to present some information of my intended beneficiary to the security firm holding my deposit, so i will need you to send the following basic details so i can instruct them
properly:

Your full name
Address
Contact Phone number(s)

Due to my laryngectomy, my speech is impeded and i undergo much pain when I try to sound a simple syllable - I would give my right arm if something could be done to restore my speech. I am sorry we would have to make do of this medium of communication if we are to proceed, though it takes a lot of time and energy to get through typing an email to you; but it's what i have to do so I must endure; I do not have a lot of time left this is why I am risking a clinical trial, I never believed I could find someone who I can be relaxed enough to hand my wishes over to. God bless you and love always

Abdia

Spamnesty

  • Subject: Re: Re: Re: "1heart" Please..
  • On: Dec. 3, 2016, 6:43 p.m.

Hello,
can you give me an example of this? I would like to know roughly what it looks like.

Jose Jones
CEO, MNesty, LLC

Spammer

  • Subject: Details
  • On: Feb. 10, 2017, 11:49 p.m.

Dear Friend,

Before I introduce you to this transaction, please put in your mind that
this transaction requires your trust and dedication and we will be able to
complete it successfully with your cooperation and commitment; employing
all legal means. Please do not handle this project with bias or prejudice
as I will be able to answer all your questions.

A deceased customer with my bank here China ICBC BANK left a deposit of
$42.6 Million (Forty Two Million Six Hundred Thousand United States Dollars
only) under my care and fervent search for a next of kin to claim the money
over the years had proved unsuccessful until I discovered that his wife who
was supposed to be the next of kin, died years earlier.

What this means following the Banking law here is the deposit will be
transferred into the reserve Bank of China and classified as unclaimed
Bill. I don't want this deposit to go into the Reserve Bank's treasury and
therefore, I want us to claim this deposit by making you the beneficiary of
the deposit if you are interested because I know everything about this
deposit as the financial/account officer of the deceased and his personal
friend over the years.

You should not worry about the financial technicalities of transferring
this deposit to you because being a professional banker myself, I have
planned every step carefully and strategically for a successful execution
and completion and I will guide you on every step of it.

Your role in this transaction is to stand as a trusted person as
beneficiary of this deposit and to open an offshore bank account with a
Bank, I shall tell later on as the transaction progresses because they are
our corresponding bank in Europe and therefore easy to transfer a huge
amount of deposit through them.

I urge that we restrict this communication to email for now for our safety
until we have trusted each other enough. To perfect necessary documentation
with my attorney and give the transaction the legal right it deserves

I will send you same data of me when I received the above details from you.
Please ensure that you keep this transaction confidential; do not discuss
it with anybody, because of its sensitive nature and my work.

On completion of this project, your share will be entitle to 50% of the
$42,600,000.00 USD million United States dollars I count on your maturity
and confidence not to betray me because I am a family man and have a
reputable career to protect

Your share will be 50% of the $42,600,000 USD which is equal to

Spamnesty

  • Subject: Re: Details
  • On: Feb. 11, 2017, 3:50 a.m.

Hello,
Thank you for your email! However, I don't know if this will fit in our budget. Is there anything better you could do?

Jose Jones
CEO, MNesty, LLC

Spammer

  • Subject: Business plan (your ID please)
  • On: Feb. 13, 2017, 2:24 a.m.

Dear friend,
The reason I contacted you is because i need a foreign partner to assist me
in this project because it will be too risky to transfer this fund to my
fellow Chinese person. As a point of emphasis, I want you to stand as a
trust worthy person to receive this money when it is transferred. You do
not have to worry about the financial technicalities for this transaction.
Everything has been planned to its logical ending and I will guide you on
every step of the way. I will do everything legally required to ensure that
the project goes successfully.

Action plan:

The plan is to transfer this fund in your name to our corresponding Bank in
the Netherlands because the bank has a transactional understanding with my
bank here and they are our corresponding bank in Europe and therefore easy
and smooth for transferring the fund. With this option, you will be
required to open an offshore account in this bank to receive this transfer
before we take our respective shares.

In the meantime, I once again wish to remind you and let’s keep this
communication to emails for safety reason until we have established enough
trust on each other. to perfect all necessary documents in your name by a
lawyer; and to give this transaction the legal right it deserves, you are
to send the information below:

1. Full Name:
2. Address:
3. A copy of your means of identification (Driver’s License or
International Passport or national ID)
4. Occupation:
5. Marital status:

Once i receive the above details, i will send you the same information
about me along with the ‘application for release of funds form’ to fill and
apply for the release of the fund.

Due to the sensitive nature of the transaction, please it is important that
we keep it confidential to ourselves so that we can enjoy the benefit
without the fear that someone else is aware of it.

I will welcome questions from you on areas you need more clarifications
about this project. But if you have some important question and you think
we can talk about it, you can as well reach me on the following telephone

Spamnesty

  • Subject: Re: Business plan (your ID please)
  • On: Feb. 13, 2017, 1:16 p.m.

Hi,
Sounds great, how can we proceed? We're interested in getting started pretty much immediately, as we could use this.

Jose Jones
CEO, MNesty, LLC

Spammer

  • Subject: Your kind Identification please
  • On: Feb. 16, 2017, 1:25 a.m.

Dear Friend,
Sequel to the receipt of your email, I got your contact information from
the Hong Kong Chambers of commerce, for a project of this magnitude, you
will agree with me that asking you to send a copy of your identity is not
asking for too much. Please I will need it for us to proceed and prepare
the documents in your name to lay claim to this fund. I will not accept any
form of shallow arrangement for this project. i ask again that you send me
the following details about yourself:
1. Name:
2. Address:
3. Copy of your identification:
4. Occupation:
I will send you my personal details too once i get yours. treat this issue
very serious. I wait to hear from you soon.

Spamnesty

  • Subject: Re: Your kind Identification please
  • On: Feb. 16, 2017, 2:43 a.m.

Hello,
That is very interesting! Could you elaborate? Do you have any details online I could look at?

Jose Jones
CEO, MNesty, LLC

Spammer

  • Subject: The ID that is required
  • On: Feb. 17, 2017, 8:20 a.m.

Dear Friend
Sequel to the receipt of your email, thanks for your mail and for
expressing your fear. but i want to assure that your information and
Identification will never be used for any other reason except for the
purpose of this project. i am a banker and i know what that means. for a
project of this magnitude, it is only necessary that your identification
and information are important to perfect necessary documents and trust. i
will also be sending you all my information and Identification once i
receive yours. Thank you so much as I wait to receive copy of your ID.

Spamnesty

  • Subject: Re: The ID that is required
  • On: Feb. 17, 2017, 9:50 a.m.

Hello,
can you give me an example of this? I would like to know roughly what it looks like.

Jose Jones
CEO, MNesty, LLC

Spammer

  • Subject: Your kind Identification please
  • On: Feb. 18, 2017, 6:46 p.m.

Dear Friend,
Sequel to the receipt of your email, I got your contact information from
the Hong Kong Chambers of commerce, for a project of this magnitude, you
will agree with me that asking you to send a copy of your identity is not
asking for too much. Please I will need it for us to proceed and prepare
the documents in your name to lay claim to this fund. I will not accept any
form of shallow arrangement for this project. i ask again that you send me
the following details about yourself:
1. Name:
2. Address:
3. Copy of your identification:
4. Occupation:
I will send you my personal details too once i get yours. treat this issue
very serious. I wait to hear from you soon.

Spamnesty

  • Subject: Re: Your kind Identification please
  • On: Feb. 18, 2017, 10:07 p.m.

Hello,
Thank you for your email! However, I don't know if this will fit in our budget. Is there anything better you could do?

Jose Jones
CEO, MNesty, LLC

Spammer

  • Subject: The ID that is required
  • On: Feb. 20, 2017, 7:45 a.m.

Dear Friend
Sequel to the receipt of your email, thanks for your mail and for
expressing your fear. but i want to assure that your information and
Identification will never be used for any other reason except for the
purpose of this project. i am a banker and i know what that means. for a
project of this magnitude, it is only necessary that your identification
and information are important to perfect necessary documents and trust. i
will also be sending you all my information and Identification once i
receive yours. Thank you so much as I wait to receive copy of your ID.

Spamnesty

  • Subject: Re: The ID that is required
  • On: Feb. 20, 2017, 4:13 p.m.

Hello,
Can you give me some more info about what you're offering? Specifically, how does it apply to our business? How can we use this?

Jose Jones
CEO, MNesty, LLC

Spammer

  • Subject: The information regarding this transaction
  • On: Feb. 21, 2017, 6:54 a.m.

Dear Friend

Sequel to the receipt of your email, I am very confident that we will be
able to establish the trust that is needed to complete this deal and all
that I need from you is your willingness and commitment so that we can end
this in the next few days.

What you need to understand about this transaction is that I will make sure
that it passes through all international banking laws regards to this I
will take care of all the expenses at my end which include the cost of
retaining the service of an Attorney to give the transaction the proper
documentation that is required to perfect the claim as well as the cost of
the documentation, other logistics and notarization of all documents here.
Your only obligation in this transaction will be to set up an offshore
account that can accommodate these funds and I will give you more lightly
later once you agree to partner with me.

Like I said before there is no risk involve as it will pass through
international banking laws and all documents related to this transaction
will be sent to you for your perusal and trust.

Note that I am highly handicapped with respect to the manner I conduct
myself as far as this transaction is concerned here at the bank because of
my position. Besides, the laws here in China and most part of Asia with
respect to corruption are very stringent. Contravening the laws is
tantamount to serious penalty, so while I brave the venture, I will have to
still watch my back. Therefore, we will restrict our communication to email
because this is my private email and all communication from me to you will
be done in most unsuspecting manner. It is very easy to track telephone
conversation so please bear with me.

If we play by the rules as I have spelt them, then we have no problem at
all. I will guide you on how and where to open the offshore bank account
when the time comes

Let me know if you are proceeding with me at the earliest time.

Spamnesty

  • Subject: Re: The information regarding this transaction
  • On: Feb. 21, 2017, 11:56 a.m.

Hello,
That is very interesting! Could you elaborate? Do you have any details online I could look at?

Jose Jones
CEO, MNesty, LLC

Spammer

  • Subject: Your kind Identification please
  • On: Feb. 22, 2017, 2:56 a.m.

Dear Friend,
Sequel to the receipt of your email, I got your contact information from
the Hong Kong Chambers of commerce, for a project of this magnitude, you
will agree with me that asking you to send a copy of your identity is not
asking for too much. Please I will need it for us to proceed and prepare
the documents in your name to lay claim to this fund. I will not accept any
form of shallow arrangement for this project. i ask again that you send me
the following details about yourself:
1. Name:
2. Address:
3. Copy of your identification:
4. Occupation:
I will send you my personal details too once i get yours. treat this issue
very serious. I wait to hear from you soon.

Spamnesty

  • Subject: Re: Your kind Identification please
  • On: Feb. 22, 2017, 3:29 a.m.

Hello,
Thank you for your email! However, I don't know if this will fit in our budget. Is there anything better you could do?

Jose Jones
CEO, MNesty, LLC